My mother was born July 4, 1919, and would be (is!) 100 years this year. She passed from this life to be with Jesus a little over two years ago at 98 years old. She was born in the middle of World War I into a farming family in Oklahoma. During her lifetime she went through the Dust Bowl, the Great Depression and World War II. She lost two husbands, the first one to death, which left her a young widow with four small children. She lost her second husband, my dad, to divorce.
She was a remarkable woman in many ways, and I’ve grown to appreciate who she was more and more through the years. She survived some very difficult times, and even thrived as her life progressed. She supported herself for the last half of her life, and held public office as City Clerk of the small town where she lived. She always kept a nice home and yard, used her money wisely and retired comfortably. She enjoyed many years before having to move first to an assisted living home, and then finally to a nursing home.
Dealing with the "Dirty 30s"
We would speak on occasion about her experiences going through the difficult days of the Depression, which hit our country hard in the 1930s. This economic struggle was compounded for farmers like her dad in the Oklahoma Panhandle since they also had to deal with what they called the “Dirty 30’s.” The Dust Bowl was caused by an extended drought coupled with thousands of acres of prairie land which had been plowed to grow crops. The lack of rainfall and and frequent strong winds on the high plains lifted the top soil and produced dirt storms that were so severe that, at times, they blackened the sun, turning midday into an experience like midnight. (You might want to watch Ken Burn’s documentary, The Dust Bowl, to get an idea what it was like).
Times were so difficult that a great number lost all they had. Many migrated from the midwest to places like California, seeking out jobs simply to survive. John Steinbeck’s novel, The Grapes of Wrath, depicted much of the struggle of these “Okies” who went there. Mom’s parents moved with the family for a time to Arkansas where my grandfather found some work so that they could make it. Fortunately, they did not lose their farm like others did, and they were able to return after a couple of years. What fascinates me when Mom spoke about those days is that it was almost with a longing nostalgia. Their families and community came together to help one another. They developed deep friendships and had a strong sense of interdependency. She would often describe that time like this: they had nothing, but did not lack anything!
Widowed at 26 with four young children
Mom married young and and her first husband, Fred, died at age 30 in 1945 from complications of appendicitis, leaving her as a 26 year old widow with four young children pictured here. (I am not in this photo since I wasn't born yet). Fred also was a farmer. He left no life insurance. There was no government assistance or unemployment benefits from which she could draw. They lived in a remote part of the county in a small house with no indoor plumbing or central heat and air. Most of what they ate was what they grew in a garden or from farm stock that they raised. She had little disposable income and was left to not only take care of her children but to run the farm. Fortunately, her dad and brother lived nearby and helped out as they could.
She married my dad a few years later, himself also a farmer/rancher at the time, and she moved into his 4 room house with her four children. I was born into that home and remember living there until we moved into the small town nearby when I was seven years old. This home did not have indoor plumbing, hot water or central heating/air, either. In the early days of my life I remember the only bedroom was the basement. On one side was my parents' “room,” and on the other side was where we five kids slept. A curtain separated the two. And, believe me, it wasn't any fun making a run to the outhouse in the middle of the night in the dead of winter!
What would her advice be to us?
I marvel at what my Mom faced as she went through a depression, drought, the Dust Bowl, World War II, widowhood, uncertain income, bare and rustic living conditions, raising five children and divorce. She not only survived it all, but eventually thrived through them all. What we are facing in these days with the Coronavirus seems, in many ways, to pale in light of what she faced. I don’t mean to make light of our present situation. I know that many are going through really difficult times. I have friends who have lost jobs because it. Thousands have contracted the illness. Many have lost their lives. All of us are facing isolation to some degree. I have talked with colleagues in other countries who are going through this in ways that are much harder than us in the U.S. This is no small difficulty we are experiencing. I have never seen anything like it during my lifetime.
I have wondered what advice my Mom might give our generation if she were alive today as we are facing this situation. I think I know. One time a few years back as we discussed everything she endured, especially the time right after she lost her first husband and she had to take care of those four children on that farm, I asked her, “Mom, how did you make it through all that?”
Here is her answer: “Well, you just do what you have to do.”
I’m sure she often felt discouraged, fearful and uncertain. I am certain that she shed tears of grief. But she had grit, and she made it because she did what she had to do. I think that’s what she’d tell her family and the rest of us today. “Just hunker down and do what you have to do. You’re gonna make it through this.”
This was the attitude of that “Greatest Generation.” They did what they had to do, and pulled through it. Our nation’s forebears have faced some really tough times throughout our history and they made it. We can, too.
I’m not really sure where Mother was on her spiritual journey at that stage as a 26 year old widow with those four young children when she resolved within herself to just do what she had to do to make it through those tough times.
Anyone who has any life experience has had to face their own set of difficulties. I know that we have. I have had to go through some very tough times myself. Sometimes I wondered how we were going to make it through them. Mom's advice has stood me well. But, I have found that it isn't quite complete. If I could add anything to her advice, it would be this: Just do what you have to do, while relying on Christ to make it through whatever you face. Recently I was reminded of Paul’s promise that he wrote to Christians in Philippi who had sent him some monetary help while he was on “lock down” in a Roman jail. He told them that he was making it through his very difficult circumstances, not just “surviving”, but thriving in them. He had found a secret. He says that he knew how to thrive when he had plenty and when he had little, when he was well supplied and when he didn’t know where his next meal was coming from, or even if he might face execution for his faith. His secret was this, “I can do all things through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13). Yes, he did it, but he did it relying on the strength that Christ gave him.
"I can do all things through Him who gives me strength"
This is the marvelous thing about those of us who have a relationship with Christ. Whatever we face, whatever difficulties we go through, no matter how severe, we don’t have to do it alone! Jesus is with us; he dwells in us. He has promised that he will provide the strength to just do what we have to do.
So, in these days we are taking Mom’s advice. We are doing what we have to do. But, we are also relying on Christ’s strength to face today’s circumstances and whatever we will face in days ahead.
I believe we are going to make it! And you will, too, if you just do what you have to do and rely on Christ who gives you strength to do it.
Comentários