I am deeply troubled by the unrest and violence in our country because of racist issues that have again surfaced over the last weeks. It grieves me to see the cycle of negative actions and subsequent reactions this has caused.
It’s apparent to me that racism is an ongoing issue in our nation. I’ve had friends and acquaintances who’ve told agonizing experiences they’ve had just because they are of a certain ethnic group. My relationship with one particular friend, Ben, helped me to understand how it has affected so many.
I met Ben in the 1990s. I remember the day that he and his wife, an African American couple, walked into our predominately white church service where I was a pastor at the time. I met them and we had a pleasant conversation. They were inquisitive about the church and I hoped that they felt welcomed by me and everyone else.
As I got to know him, Ben surprised me
Apparently they did because they kept returning to our services and over time they got increasingly involved in the church. I interacted with them often and, as I got to know Ben, a few things surprised me about him. I was curious why they would want to come to a church where they were a minority. I also discovered that Ben was a musician and that he really liked Southern Gospel music. Ben would even sometimes wear cowboy boots to church. Now, I liked his boots, but I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about his taste in music. We had some lively discussions about the merits of that particular genre of worship music.
An “uncomfortable” meeting
After Ben and his wife had been with us for a while, he asked if he could make an appointment with me. I told him that I would be happy to meet him. When we got together he expressed that they enjoyed the church and the friends that they had made. He said that they liked the church’s worship, mission, emphasis on Bible teaching and small groups. Then, he shifted in his seat, cleared his throat and lowered his head. I could tell something was bothering him. After a pause, he looked up at me and said, “We really like it here but we wonder if it is possible for us to become members?”
I explained to him that there were certain requirements for anyone to become a member. I also expressed that as I had gotten to know him and his wife, I did not think there would be anything that would keep them from meeting those requirements and that we would gladly welcome them. He looked at me and smiled with relief. I sensed there might be some doubt in his mind whether they could join our church and asked him why.
"What he said next really angered me."
What he said next really angered me. He told me that when he and his wife had moved to our city, they had previously attended another predominately white church. When they had spoken to the pastor there requesting membership, he had told them, “Well, I enjoy you being here, but we are right in the middle of developing an important ministry project. If you join, I think it will cause some trouble for some important people who are supporting the project because we’ve never had black members here. So, I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to join our church.”
Ben told the man that he didn’t in any way want to hinder the project and that they would move on. However, his parting words to the pastor were, “I don’t think God is going to allow your project to succeed!”
After he relayed to me what had happened to them, I better understood Ben’s discomfort when he asked about joining our church. I have heard stories from other friends who’ve experienced similar treatment. The way people of color have sometimes been mistreated is wrong, and at times a horrendous evil. Sadly, in the history of our nation, some churches have not been a solution to this injustice but rather have perpetrated it. This is a great sin. Jesus came to break down the barriers that separate human beings in order to reconcile people to himself and to one another.
I am happy to say that Ben and his wife were gladly welcomed as members in the church, along with others from different races over the years. He eventually became our worship leader and served in that capacity until they moved to another state a few years later.
I recently called Ben and we had a wonderful talk. We reminisced about his time in the church and we agreed how good it had been for both of us. He told me that it was a very meaningful season in their spiritual growth and they were grateful for the relationships that they formed. He also shared my concern and sorrow over the continuing conflict of racism in our country.
A great example of healing hate and bigotry
He reminded me that before he became a Christian when he was in his 30’s that he hated white people because he had experienced many occasions of hurt and injustice. But, God made a marvelous change in his life and Christ gave him the ability to forgive. He also told me how soon after his spiritual awakening he had met and befriended a white pastor in his hometown. God not only changed Ben, but this man’s heart as well. In getting to know Ben, the Lord convicted the white pastor, who was an admitted racist, of his sin. He repented of his bigotry and the Lord changed his heart as well. They became life long friends.
As we discussed these incident, Ben and I both agreed that the real solution to racism, as well as any other relational problem, is the healing, forgiveness and reconciliation found only in Christ.
The real issue is “content of character”
Ben and I became good friends and partners in ministry. As I got to know him I was surprised because I did not expect him, as an African American, to want to be part of a majority white church, or like Southern Gospel music, or even wear cowboy boots. I had a generalized, stereotyped view of who I thought that an African American man would want to associate with and the type of music he would like.
Simply because someone is of a certain ethnicity it is easy to feel like they believe and act in certain ways, when in fact, people are unique individuals and different in so many ways. I am reminded of Martin Luther King, Jr.’s famous dream of the day when people would be evaluated not by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. The real issue is content of character.
Over the years that I knew Ben I found out he had a sterling character because he loved and followed Jesus. Skin color was a non-issue. I didn’t see him as a black man who thought and acted in a certain way because of his ethnicity. I just saw him as my friend and fellow follower of Christ.
I’m a better man for the unique people I’ve met
I am happy to say that over my lifetime I have gotten to know many men and women from different races. I am a better man for it. A lot of them have become very good friends of mine. Some of my closest colleagues in my work and ministry are men and women of a different race than mine. Many of them are my heroes. What I have found true about every one is how unique they each are.
It is so easy to categorize people because of their ethnicity. A lot of the problem in our society, it seems to me, is that we simply don’t know each other. We make assumptions. We aren’t talking with each other; we are shouting at one another—or worse!
Recently I heard Dr. Tony Evans, a pastor I highly respect, offer a simple solution to help overcome racism, which I am seeking to implement more in my life. He suggests that we all make the effort to get to know and befriend others from a different race on an individual level. Then, together, try to find someone else who needs help and go together and serve them. As we know one another personally and serve others together, it will go a long way to making us better people and tear down racist barriers. (You can check out Dr. Evans’ statements here: https://youtu.be/W7vhcF052OY)
I am so glad God brought Ben into my life. I am deeply grateful and greatly enriched for the friendship and brotherhood we share in our common relationship in Christ.
But, Ben, if you happen to read this, I have to admit to you again, I still don’t much like Southern Gospel music.
Comments